虽然说这确实是一篇写的不错的作文，但从句子结构组成上来说，略显单调，因为全文你几乎只用了一个句子框架，那就是主谓宾，你学过被动，学过成句吧 高分作文需要句子来点缀哦 我改几个试试看 1.Parents always want their children to be the number one.They offer their children various classes 改 children is offered various classes which can help them to be number one by their parents . 因为你分了三种类型 小孩子 大人 老人，所以小孩做主语，表达更明确，同时把句子加长了 2. The colleague students must find a good job with satisfactory salary after their graduation, The company staff must try their best to get along well with their customers.Facing this pressure ,maybe they can relieve it by the way of telling the problem issue to their friends. 归类到哪一类人的压力问题是不是写清楚些更好呢。 3 根据前文 结尾改一下更适合，你的重点应该是面对压力我们要找到合适的方式去减压，而不是压力本身的好坏，作文不仅仅是展示你的英语功底，同样是展示语言表达水平。 好吧 ，借这个平台表达一下我自己的看法，不知道能不能帮到你，如果可以 ，我们可以相互学习。一起进步.
- 相关评论
- 我要评论
-